Parrots Who Learned the Wrong Words (And Won't Stop Saying Them)

Here is a universal truth about parrots: you can spend six patient months teaching them to say "pretty bird," and they will instead memorise the exact phrase you screamed when you stubbed your toe at midnight. They will then repeat it every time your mother visits.

Parrots don't learn what you want them to learn. They learn what you desperately wish they wouldn't.

The Greatest Hits

The Microwave Parrot. One owner reported that their African Grey learned to perfectly replicate the sound of the microwave beeping. Not once. Not twice. On a loop. Forever. The family now flinches at the sound of reheated soup.

The Doorbell Parrot. This parrot learned the doorbell so convincingly that the family answered the front door an average of eleven times per day for a month before they worked out what was happening. The parrot, reportedly, found this hilarious.

The Swearing Parrot(s). In 2020, a wildlife park in Lincolnshire had to separate five African Greys because they taught each other to swear and then laughed together when visitors looked shocked. This is not a joke. This actually happened. The parrots were, by all accounts, having an excellent time.

Why Do They Do This?

Parrots are drawn to words and sounds associated with strong emotion. When you yell, laugh, or gasp, your parrot takes notes. Calm, measured speech? Boring. The panicked shriek you made when you saw a spider? That's content.

They also learn through repetition, which is bad news for anyone who mutters complaints while doing the dishes. Your parrot is listening. Your parrot is always listening.

Can You Un-Teach a Parrot?

Technically, yes. The strategy is to completely ignore the unwanted word and heavily reward a replacement phrase. In practice, this means maintaining a poker face while your cockatoo screams an expletive at the postman.

Most owners give up within a week.

The Silver Lining

Look, your parrot may have the vocabulary of a sailor and the comedic timing of a seasoned stand-up comic. But at least your house is never quiet, your guests are always entertained, and you will never, ever feel alone.

Whether you want to or not.